Nothing is forever.

there was some quickly constructed resoaning on your behalf, something about a

‘..if its meant to be’ and i threw it aside but then my faith in such was rekindled. I was a scary process.

I needed proof and it got it in all forms and it made me realise that everything (really does) happen for a reason.

But still i don’t think it will prevent me from making my repeated bad choices.

Why is it that as soon as you start caring for someone your judgment becomes flawed. What you would usually view as unacceptable becomes okay and all those black and white areas, that certainty of your choice’s blurs and becomes one muggy grey canvas called, Your life!

And since when did intimacy become so difficult, again the moment you let someone inside your personal space bubble, when you trust someone that much to ease away all those worries you’ve ever had in that physical area they leave you cold without any emotions to show where you’ve been.

I refuse to be that person who finds meaning in nothing, how could one live like that.

Everything i do, everything i say has a deep reason behind it. I live what i feel and it’s this belief that i feel is consuming me. Why hold back

ummm because their just going to tell you no for the

ahh, double decimal-enth time and again all you will be

left standing in a puddle of embarssment

But i can live with that because in the end i took everything the world threw at me and slowly i’m overcoming it. I’ve never cheated myself out of what i wanted it just seems that what in wanted didn’t choose me

Regardless, Getting older brings with it more confusion, misguidance and thats what your faced with is it not. I just hope you make the most of it. Don’t sit there and do nothing with your freedom after what you did to me to get it.

Yes i forgive you